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Closing Doors

Hello Again

This continues the theme of last night really. I don't know why I feel like this but I'm not saying it's a bad feeling. I just think I need closure on what's gone on before so I can start afresh on a new adventure come September. I went to see my old headmistress from Primary School today. She's retiring. I think she was glad to see me, I'm glad I went. I think I needed to go back one last time whilst there was still some relevance to my time there. Maybe this is strange behaviour, I don't know I'm also feeling the need to throw out old schoolwork. Again, this gives me comfort. I don't know where this is going and I don't want to write reams and reams again. I just think i'm in the process of tying up loose ends and bringing my time in Rainford to a close both mentally and physically (although I may be back in years to come but who can say?) At least if I address my issues now, then it is done and I won't feel like I've left things unfinished. Maybe this is a delayed reaction. I had no strong feelings in May when we left college nor did I during the Leavers' doo. I suppose it is only human to feel something for my hometown at some point. Perhaps as I'm leaving, the time is right. I want to leave and I'm doing it for the right reasons. In fact I've been quite restless the last year or so and I don't think I'll miss it all that much. That doesn't mean I won't forget and it doesn't mean I don't have some beautiful memories of my childhood but it's time to move on in a new place and begin a new lifestyle.

I think I have gone someway to sorting my head out before Uni. However, I won't get complete closure until after Results Day, when I've handed all my textbooks back and "left" college for the final time.

This topic is closed.......for now!

But feel free to comment.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
slober
Jul. 12th, 2006 04:33 pm (UTC)
Phil,
glad u feel like this cos i kinda feel the same way. like I didnt feel bad when i was leaving college in may but now i'm thinking of all these things i wish i'd said to people and stuff i wish i'd done. specially after leavers do, i didnt get a chance to say goodbye to people and i'm not around for results day so i kinda feel like i missed out.
i went to my primary school to see my brothers last sports day there yesterday and I felt distinctly like i wasnt meant to be there, like i'd moved on. felt the same way when i returned a load of books and cd the other day, like i didnt belong to college anymore, i think this was like closure for me.
anywaaaaay.
phil_the_viking
Jul. 13th, 2006 01:50 pm (UTC)
Well it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one.
You must be confident of getting your grades then if you're not around for results day :D I suppose it's not the same if you only get your results by post or phone because you miss out on the suspense of receiving the envelope which could determine how the rest of your life pans out and you don't get the euphoria of analysing your results with friends. Then of course there's the celebrations,unless one's unfortunate enough to be chewing telephone wire all afternoon and for the subsequent few days.
On my primary school experience........it was strange going back as most of the teachers I remember are either long gone or about to retire and I did feel out of place but I suppose that's going to be inevitable. However I think it's helped me get closure and I'm glad there's other people out there with similar feelings on leaving home/college.

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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